Woe is thy moral

Sometimes I just wish things were simple, as opposed to the complicated pile of disaster that haunts me daily.

Sometimes I just wish I could forget how people would judge my action, and act without consequences.

Sometimes I just wish moral was not the invisible boundary that ties us to our fate.

Sometimes I just wish I could let go of all obligations and emotional attachments.

Sometimes... I just wish, it wasn't you.

Empty Title

Because everything is so empty, aimless and numb.

Sometimes I wonder what's my true face myself.

Sometimes I wish I would feel how I should feel at the moment.

Sometimes I wish I could care less about trivial matters.

Sometimes I wish I would know my own direction.

Sometimes I wish people would leave me alone.

Because their help and love would only contribute to my guilt.

美夢

為甚麼一些令人感到惋惜既夢，同時間可以感覺上如此矜貴，如此美麗呢？

得不到的要是走了，為何又要走得那麼凄美，傷感既同時又渴望再重演那一幕呢?

What do you do when your mom tells you, "sorry son, I'm a poor mom"?

And really, should it ever happen? I regret not saying "Don't be silly, you're the best mom ever" because I'm embarassed, but I did let her know that she shouldn't have said that. Boy did that feel... heavy.

So how did it ever came to be? My msn name says "I running on HK hours" (which she corrected me with "I'm") and got her asking "Do you miss HK?". Being my usual honest self, I told her I'd like to go back but it didn't feel necessary. She felt that it was responsible since she wasn't able to afford a trip to HK for me, and said "sorry son, I'm a poor mom". There must have been hundreds of statements going thru my mind when I read that, but I was stumped and stupid enough to only say "why are you saying sorry? You're not a poor mom".

Being together for 23 years, I understand her mindset thinks that every downfall in my life is somehow because she hasn't done well enough as a mother. Of course, I've never thought about it that way and never will. Honestly, I don't think I can ever reach that level in parenthood.

I quickly sidetracked the topic and says that only filthy rich parents can let their kids go home any time they want. Then she says she's rich because she has me. Seriously, what have I done for her that deserves that sentence? I am by no mean a terrible son, but I am so far away from son-of-the-year to warrant such accomplishment. I could only say the lame and yet 120% true "I'm rich too because I have you".

Yeah I know I'm probably stupid and a failure in life, but at least I got the best mom in my universe, and I've got a lot of work to do to live up to her expectation to make her the happiest mom in the universe.

相識恨太晚

What is time? Recently I've been thinking the very concept that runs against us always - Time. What is time? The ticking between the seconds? The span of our life? The continuum of the universe? How did we become bounded by it?

We could have been a lot of things, but we could very well have not been. Things are the way they are now not because they are meant to be, but they just became how they are.